Being all out in making our dreams come true is what took us here.

I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was a kid. 

I remember reading an article about Ghea Sukarya in which she was praised for her ‘very Indonesian’ design, her attention to details, and how she makes our nation proud in the international fashion scene. I wanted to be like her: making pretty outfits, dressing up her models at the backstage, directing photo shoot. She was so cool, #lifegoal kalau anak sekarang bilang. I even took some sewing lessons! 

For a good couple of years I’d alter my outfits myself, when I was ‘inspired’ I’d make my own top or dress from scratch. I can’t claim that those outfits are masterpieces 😆 But I was always so proud wearing them, wouldn’t give a damn what people think. I MADE IT MYSELF, LAST NIGHT, WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING! 

Long story short I finally shifted my interest to other types of job (#gemini!!), including dentist, architect, lead vocal in a band, and aerobic instructor—that’s for another time. But until today, every time I sew a button or hems, I’d remember that childhood dream vividly. And I’d be reminded the many surprises life has  for us. Maybe that’s why I smiled so happily in this Me-Altering-My-Dress-to-Appropriate-Length-for-an-Important-Meeting shot. 

Fast forward to today: I’m not a fashion designer, but I never regret my sleepless nights working on dresses, using my Mom’s classic sewing machine (the brand was Singer, it has a balance wheel and everything ;)). It was an important part of my self-discovery journey in finding a profession that I really like today. In fact, I think being all out in the process helped me a lot to finally admit that “maybe this is not it,” before I move to explore my next dream(s). I rarely ask ‘what if’ because, although it makes me seem like banyak mau-that person who wants to try everything, I’ve given it a try. 

My mentor once told me “focus to enjoy and appreciate the course that’s served in front of you, don’t worry too much about what’s being cooked in the kitchen. Trust that the next courses will come at the right timing, and they will be great. We have the best chefs in there.”

And darlings, he’s right.